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Monday, December 26, 2011sometimes when im alone in the house, with only me and my sniffling noises made my my nose and the typing sound of the key board, i get into this thinking and daydreaming mode. its been so long since i've daydreamed.. like a day ? but anyway, i was just thinking how difficult it can be to just be who you are and not be afraid of what everyone else thinks of you. why ? i love to eat. there are a lot of evidence all over my flabby arms and tummy, not excluding my gigantic thighs that can out rim a tree behind my house. plus the amount of excess skin i have can help coat two cold kids in the street. so why am i so concern about what i like to do ? why is it that i always have to do something about what i am now ? to change it in someway or another ? do i really think its for the better of my life ? whats going to happen if i did ? what will be better ? besides a healthier lifestyle, better looks, more eligibility to get attached and steady... will it make me happy ? im not sure.. sometimes it feels so cold on a hot day, while my palm burns napalm under the rain. i feel like an angel with horns, a pointed tail, holding a giant fork which has no apparent meaning other then to poke people. it feels like snow fell on a lonely night, where all the splendour and beauty was being missed with everyone tucked in tightly asleep  i have thought about it before.. who do i wanna be like when i grow up, how do i wanna look like. there's always an ideal situation that everyone wants just then, i saw the baker boy that an auntie at work gave to me for a souvenir one day at work. it reminded me of how badly i wanted to be a pastry chef before. how much testing and trails and failures i had to go through to create a single product. how much screaming and torture i had to withstand to earn a place in the kitchen. it took many fitful sleepless nights before i could get use to kitchen culture many a times, i also have had nightmares of pots or pans flying at my face but whats happen now? why am i slacking off and sliding back now. where has all that enthusiasm gone ? am i becoming an old shell of emptyness.. yes, i know its spelt as emptiness, and i almost wanted to change it, but it just shows how normally human i am to make mistakes all the time. (partly because im lazy to press the up up left left left left left button to go correct one letter.) so, if i did press the up and left buttons, i could have saved myself from describing what i just was about to do but did not do anyway. SHYT ! aron when have you become such a slob. i always thought you were on the ball, always looking for something new to excite you. but its become such a routine to look for something new that the something new has become a routine. its no more surprising to see hot custard being poured on a thin layer of chocolate to melt it on the dessert, so to smell such delectable bouquets from a choice vintage wine plucking a peach or apricot fresh off a tree has become a done checked item on the list. so now.. what can further excite me ? its not that i don't enjoy it. i still do, honestly, i still do fascinate at surprises and love them thoroughly. but what if there was more to life ? sigh.. perhaps i need a mate for life. resolution for the new year no. 3, lose my virgin kiss. CAN YOU IMAGINE IT ?!?! a 21 year old pig has not even kissed any girl on the lips before.. not even mentioning the fabled french style. i have fantasised that maybe the miss and i would be sailing a small boat out into the middle of some river and take the first kiss under the pure off-white moon light. fireflies would be cued to enter the scene, spiralling around the boat creating a magical halo above the sacred merger a light breeze would swim past and send electrifying goosebumps up my back white she clings on tightly for warmth where we lay quiet and undisturbed for the evening under a blanket of black canvas dotted with a careless splash of shiny paint spots. sharing sweet titbits of nothingness inbetween spearmint refreshingly cooling smooches. while savouring the new fragrance she donned just because i once told her i liked how it reminded me of a field of blooming flowers and it lasted for 30 seconds at the back of my mind until a dust mite decided to crawl up my nostril and tickle the hairs in there making me sneeze. i have sneeze and farted at the same time before, but i've never seen anyone sneeze and fart at the same time while laughing and swishing her hair back as if nothing happened then adjusting the seat and checking if maybe that fart-like noise came from the chair.. right.. so its the new year soon in 5 more days. what will it be that champions my opinions tingles my desires fondles with my ponders and distinct my instinct let thy wings shield my eyes from the evil glare and lift my feet from shattered pebbles for i am nobody worthy but everything curtly take heed my friends that the empire of PuFFs will be upon you in a matter of moments unknown. til then, stick safe and waddle cautiously. wink* aron-the-high-and-mighty-beef-pork-pie signing out
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